Eaten Alive

We are still being eaten alive on Wonderstruck.  The no-see-ums and biting gnats are terrible, from early morning until midmorning when it becomes it too hot for them.

Kim’s arm–not a pox!

They return again after any rain storm, and then again in the evening until after sundown when things start cooling off.  Kim seems to be getting the worst of it, she looks like she has come down with some sort of pox.  In the morning we see piles of bug carcasses, and have to hose or sweep them off the deck.

Little dead bugs

More little dead bugs

I did find the original Avon Skin So Soft in a local hardware store. I not only bought a little spray bottle, but a half-gallon refill. I’ve been applying it every few hours. At this rate my skin will be as soft and supple as a baby’s behind.

One of the reasons we are so plagued by the bugs is that our boat doesn’t have screens. So when there are bugs out we either have to close up the boat and swelter, or keep it open and get eaten alive. We’ve tried several renditions of screens. The first week we bought no-see-um screen at home depot and used double stick velcro to mount them, unfortunately the next morning all the screens were on the floor and the velcro still attached to the rim of the hatches. One of the ladies on my dock suggested we try some sort of quilt binding around the screen. She had ordered no-see-um material and then sewn a quilt binding around each piece and the velcro was holding the binding. So off I went to Joanne’s.  I figured it didn’t look too hard.  The problem–I am not crafty, and I don’t sew. But what I lack in craftiness and sewing ability I make up for in desperation. The poor salespeople at Joanne’s, I don’t think they get very many non-crafty non-sewing customers.

Me, ” I would like some cloth strips for putting around the edge of a quilt.”
Saleslady at the fabric cutting counter, “Do you mean bias tape?”
Me, “umm, maybe. Will it attach to screen?”
Saleslady, “To screen? You mean like on a window?”
Me, “Yes I need it to attach to no-see-um screen?”
Saleslady, “You mean no-see-um fabric?”
Me, “Well, I don’t have any fabric, I just have rolls of screen from home depot.”
Saleslady, “Oh, Well, you should still be able to sew it on with your sewing machine.”
Me, “Umm, I don’t sew. I mean, I can stitch, like a needlepoint up and down, but I think that would take me a while. Can I just use that iron-on hem stuff? I just bought an iron at Target.”
Saleslady (trying to conceal her horror), “No that wouldn’t work well at all. You should try spray adhesive.”
Me,(picturing spray adhesive being used in a boat, everything becoming sticky. Then trying to use spray adhesive on the dock next to our boat, our boat and our neighbor’s boat both becoming sticky. No-see-ums, gnats, the occasional breeze, and spray adhesive=a bad combination.) ,”That wouldn’t be a good idea, I think it would go everywhere.”
Saleslady,”You could isolate the screen with wax paper so only the edge is showing.”
Me, “I don’t have any wax paper.”
Saleslady(sighing), “It doesn’t have to be wax paper, you could use aluminum foil, parchment paper…”
Me, “I still don’t think that would work. Do you have any other ideas?”
Saleslady ( thinking I just climbed out from under a rock), “You could try fabric glue”
Me, “Fabric glue? There’s such a thing as fabric glue?”
Saleslady, “Yes, It is a little tricky.  You have to give it a few hours to set up.  I still think spray adhesive would work better for you.”

So I came home with 6 yards of white double bias tape and a bottle of fabric glue. I then proceeded to cover both my hands, the screen, the table, the velcro, occasionally even a strip of the bias tape in fabric glue. It comes out in big blobs, tends to go everywhere, and does not wash off with water. It says to give it 2-4 hours to dry, nope, try overnight. though I might be applying it a little too thick (big blobs are probably not what the manufacturer had in mind when they wrote the instructions). So I am gradually making screens for the hatches, one at a time, learning as I go. I tried tracing a hatch and using it as a template. But the only thing I had to use was a big piece of plastic and I was trying to hold it up over my head and it kept falling down and my arms were getting tired and the ink pen wouldn’t write well on the plastic and then the ink would stop coming out (I guess it wasn’t a power point ink pen). So it is a rough template and has been trimmed a few times.  I have a measuring tape, but no angle or anything to make it square.  And as much as it should be easy to cut screen in a straight line (it is made up of straight lines after all), I have never been great with scissors and it is definitely never in a straight line.   I’ve been working at it off and on for several days.  So with my crooked template, even more askewed screen, I struggle to get the bias tape glued to itself and to the screen, make rounded even diagonal edges, and have them come out the same. Not one of them is square, they are all crooked and catawampus.

As we speak I have done 3 out of our 13 hatches. But at least so far the screens aren’t on the floor in the morning, and they seem to be keeping bugs out. Maybe in a month or so I can post a new revised picture of Kim pox-free!